So you traded your rent for rabbit odds? I’ve seen more luck than my therapist’s coffee machine. This isn’t gambling—it’s statistical poetry written by a Chicagoan INTJ who thinks RNGs have souls. 94% win rate? More like 94% chance your cat wrote the code. Free spins? Nah. That’s just the algorithm whispering back: ‘You didn’t win… you just clicked.’ Try again? Only if your soul still remembers CNY 1 bets under moonlight.